Kunyah in Islam: What Abu and Umm Mean and How They Are Used

Many of the best-known Companions are called by a name that begins with “Abu”: Abu Bakr, Abu Hurairah, Abu Dharr, Abu Talha. These are not their first names. They are what Arabs call a kunyah, a respectful way of addressing someone. If you have wondered what it means, who can have one, and whether it needs a child, this guide explains it in plain language.

What is a kunyah?

A kunyah is a name that starts with Abu (father of), Umm (mother of), and sometimes Ibn (son of) or Bint (daughter of). For example, Abu Abdullah means “father of Abdullah”, and Umm Salamah means “mother of Salamah”. In Arab culture, using a kunyah is a sign of respect and affection. Calling someone by their first name can feel too direct, while the kunyah is warmer and more polite.

Does it have to refer to a real child?

Often it does, but not always. A kunyah can come from:

• The eldest child. A man whose first son is called Abdullah may become known as Abu Abdullah.
• A hoped-for child. Some people were given a kunyah before they had children.
• A nickname or a story. Some kunyahs were given because of a quality or an incident, as with Abu Hurairah and Abu Turab, described below.

Famous examples from the Companions

• Abu Bakr: his kunyah became better known than his given name. The sources report different explanations for how he got it, so we only mention that it is a kunyah.
• Abu Hurairah: the name is often explained as “father of the kitten”, and the reports say he was known by it because of a small cat that he used to carry. His given name is reported differently in the sources.
• Abu Turab (“father of dust”): Sahih al-Bukhari records that the Prophet ﷺ used this name for Ali, may Allah be pleased with him, after finding him asleep with dust on his back in the mosque. Ali is reported to have loved the name. See Ali.
• Abu Dharr, Abu Musa, Abu Darda, Abu Ayyub, Abu Talha, Abu Saeed and Abu Ubaidah: all well-known Companions who are mostly called by their kunyah.
• Abu Lubabah and Abu Qatadah: Companions whose given names are reported differently in the sources, which is one reason the kunyah became the usual way to refer to them.

What the hadith say

A kunyah for a child

Sahih al-Bukhari and Sahih Muslim record the report of the Prophet ﷺ speaking kindly to the young brother of Anas, calling him Abu Umair and asking about his little bird. Scholars have drawn from this that it is permitted to give a child a kunyah, even though the child has no children.

The kunyah of the Prophet ﷺ

The Prophet’s ﷺ kunyah was Abu al-Qasim. Sahih al-Bukhari and Sahih Muslim record a report that people may take his name but should not take his kunyah. Scholars have differed on how this applies today. Some say the prohibition was for his lifetime, because people were being confused when they called out for him. Others say it applies generally. This is a point on which you should ask a scholar of your school of thought.

Kunyahs for women

Women also have kunyahs, usually with Umm. A report mentioned by some sources says that the Prophet ﷺ gave Aisha the kunyah Umm Abdullah, but scholars discuss the chain of this report, so we mention it only as reported. Other Companions known by Umm include Umm Salamah, Umm Habibah and Umm Kulthum.

Can you use a kunyah as a first name?

Some families do give names like Abu Bakr as a full first name, as the name of the Companion. Others prefer to leave the kunyah for later, since by its meaning it refers to a child. Both practices are found among Muslims. If you are thinking of naming a child with a kunyah, it is worth reading our guide to choosing an Islamic name, and asking a scholar if you have a question.

How to use a kunyah politely today

• When addressing an older person, using their kunyah (for example, Abu Ahmad) is polite in Arab culture.
• If you are not sure of someone’s kunyah, ask them, or use their title and name.
• If you choose a kunyah for yourself, a common choice is to use the name of your eldest child.

Frequently asked questions

Is a kunyah the same as a nickname?

Not exactly. A nickname (laqab) usually describes a quality or event, such as al-Siddiq. A kunyah has the Abu or Umm form. Some people have both.

Is it necessary to have a kunyah in Islam?

No. It is a custom and a courtesy, not an obligation.

Can a person without children use a kunyah?

Yes. Scholars generally permit it, based on the example of the Companions and the report about Abu Umair.

What is the difference between Abu Bakr as a name and as a kunyah?

For the Companion, it was a kunyah that became his main name. As a name for a child today, it is used as a given name that honours him.

Sources and further reading: Sahih al-Bukhari and Sahih Muslim; Ibn Sa’d, al-Tabaqat al-Kubra; Ibn ‘Abd al-Barr, al-Isti’ab; Ibn Hajar al-‘Asqalani, al-Isabah. Rulings on using the Prophet’s ﷺ kunyah and on kunyahs for children vary among scholars, so please ask a qualified scholar.